Oh baby! Don't stop now!


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Beth, Love my friends. Hate oatmeal and tofu.

February 17, 2006
January 01, 2006
December 21, 2005
November 30, 2005
October 16, 2005

Annie's place reeked of a recent pot harvest. I think we caught a buzz just walking through the door. We were there for movies, but I was tired as hell and I just wanted to fall asleep. I lay my head in Janine's lap and let her run her fingers through my hair. The first movie was a sad one about a soldier who goes off to war and comes back to find his family dead. After it ended, Janine and Annie went off to the kitchen to prepare some snacks for the next movie.

Meanwhile, Danny crawled over to where I was and started to childishly fuck with me. I would drift off and she would touch my face, causing me to wake. I batted her hands and pushed her away, but she wouldn't stop. She kept fucking with me until I swung off the sofa and tackled her to the ground. I gave her my meanest stare and told her to stop. It didn't have the desired effect. She thought I was funny. She stuck her tongue out and started laughing at me. So I did what Janine does to me when I'm being childish. I grabbed her nipples and twisted really hard. I was expecting a scream, but all she did was utter a tiny yelp. The girl has tits of steel.

She left me alone the rest of the right, but I ended up falling asleep and having this really weird revenge dream.

I was running through a park. Danny was part of the park's mounted patrol and she was after me. I ran to the fountains where this cigarette girl was walking around with her tray, but instead of cigarettes, the tray was filled with blades. I looked through them for my size and I couldn't find any. The cigarette girl said she could instantly fit them for me. So I sat on a bench, but the cigarette girl was taking too long. While she was fitting my blades, she kept looking down the path. That's when I noticed the bottom of her tray was lined with a "wanted" poster of me. I pushed her away and bladed off, but I didn't get more than a hundred yards. The laces of my blades tripped me up and I went sprawling into a ditch. The next thing I know a bunch of cheerleaders with pompoms have me hoisted above their heads and they're taking me through a tunnel. There on the other side of the tunnel awaits Danny.
Well, this is interesting. The Wimbledon Ladies finalists are both going to be on late night TV tomorrow. Maria is going to be on Leno and Serena is going to be on Jimmy Kimmel.

Talk show guests for tomorrow, Friday July 16th
Conan O'Brien: Randy Constan
Craig Kilborn: Mena Suvari, Gavin DeGraw
David Letterman: Julianna Margulies, Bob Sarlatte, Ashlee Simpson
Ellen DeGeneres: Isabella Rossellini, Debbie Reynolds, Bill Rancic (R)
Jay Leno: Denis Leary, Maria Sharapova, Velvet Revolver
Jimmy Kimmel: Serena Williams, Chris Berman
Last Call: Dylan McDermott, Andy Dick, Greg Giraldo, Lloyd Banks
Regis and Kelly: Will Smith, Mila Kunis
Sharon Osbourne: Carmen Electra, Dave Navarro, Camp Freddy (R)
The View: Nicole Richie, Sissy Spacek

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