Keaton was waiting for me today. She was leaning against the short wall, all decked out in blading gear. Last week, she mentioned that she wanted to join me when I bladed at the park. She said she needed to get into shape, so she could impress someone special. I thought she was joking, because she said it with such sarcasm. That's why I said okay. Had I known that she was serious, I would have asked for specifics and then given it further thought before I committed a response. Especially if she had told me that she was relatively new at blading.

Not knowing that she was new, I started off at my regular pace and found that she couldn't keep up. So I slowed down until I was going at her pace and unghhh...that was excruciating! We were going so slow, I thought my muscles would atrophy from neglect. Imagine being forced to drive 25mph in a 65mph zone. That's how it felt. Luckily, she pooped out after 15 minutes and I was able to speed up and get the burn I wanted.

After I finished, I found her at the benches talking with Oofus and a couple of other skaterboarders. I kind of felt bad about going fast at the beginning, but I wasn't going to apologize. I mean she's seen me blade and she knows how fast I go. She had to know that she wouldn't be able to keep up. I told her if she wanted to continue doing this on a daily basis, then it probably be better if she joined me after I bladed, during my cooldown session when I slowed my pace. I thought she would be offended, but she just smiled and said okay. Cool, that was easy.

We talked some more and I gave her some tips about stretching and stuff. That's about when Dufus came along and squirted all of us with his supersoaker. Initially, he was aiming at Oofus, but as soon as he got our t-shirts wet, he changed targets. We bladed away before he could do much damage. I thought about getting back at him. I mean I was ready. It just so happens that I had my supersoaker in the back of my car. I thought about it, but then reconsidered. Oofus and Dufus usually keep to themselves. They squirted me once before, at the end of last summer, but I gave them my mean stare and that was the end of it. If I had retaliated, I would be looking at a long summer of annoyance and wet tshirts.

Here are the answers to last week's metal trivia. Name the band and song title for the following metal lyrics:

1. Metallica - "One"
now that the war is through with me
I'm waking up, I cannot see
that's there's not much left of me
nothing is real, but pain now

2. Megadeth - "Symphony of Destruction"
you take a mortal man
and put him in control
watch him become a god
watch people's heads roll

3. Suicidal Tendencies - "Pledge Your Allegiance"
you say I got a bad attitude - around you that comes naturally
you say I need more compassion - I can forgive. I just can't forget
you say control my temper - but when I feel like shit, I feel like shit!

4. Anthrax - "Misery Loves Company"(based on the Stephen King novel, Misery)
write for me and only me, a really extra special story
make it mine every line, don't you make me sorry
it's what I want, it's what I want and I'll tell you what
you know me and I can be a very very vicious critic

5. Rammstein - "Du Hast"
will you until death does sever
be upright to her forever
will you til death be her rider
her lover too, to stay inside her

Andrea's back, but she's swamped with an avalanche of post-vacation work and Linda is still pissed off at the "lame-ass" sentence that Martha Stewart received. So, no new trivia this week.

Talk show guests for tomorrow, Wednesday July 21st
Conan O'Brien: Benjamin Bratt
Craig Kilborn: Lesley Stahl, Butch Bradley
David Letterman: Sharon Stone, Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Ellen DeGeneres: Simon Cowell, Keisha Castle-Hughes, Annie Lennox (R)
Jay Leno: Drew Barrymore, Olympic Shot Putter - John Godina, Big and Rich
Jimmy Kimmel: Sarah Wynter, George Benson
Regis and Kelly: Benjamin Bratt, Nina Sky
Sharon Osbourne: Anthony Anderson, Matthew Settle, Alison Sweeney, Train (R)
The View: Kaley Cuoco, John Walsh, surfer Chris Granone