It wasn't an apparition. I saw Todd jumping up and down the corridor, smacking his own ass with a file folder. It seems his team has earned Level One certification for their project. The rest of the guys on the team were also hooting and hollering as they exited their conference room. It was evident to anyone who watched, that they were a little drunk, but I guess that drunken appearance could also be construed as an emotional high for having achieved Level One.

Personally, if I was Vance, I wouldn't have taken them out for a celebratory drink until after their certification meeting. That way they could have taken the rest of the day off instead of having to cut short their celebration. The last thing you want on a day of celebration is to come back to work and get written up for drinking on the job.

Speaking of drinking, Linda sent us this Alcohol Troubleshooting list:

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet
FAULT: Improper bladder control
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog and complain about house training

SYMPTOM: Drink unusually pale and tasteless
FAULT: Glass empty
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another drink

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts
FAULT: You have fallen forward
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to the bar

SYMPTOM: Alcohol tasteless, front of your shirt is wet
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of the face
ACTION: Retire to restroom and practice in mirror

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred
FAULT: You are looking through the bottom of an empty glass
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another drink

SYMPTOM: Floor moving
FAULT: You are being carried outside
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles
FAULT: You are dancing on the table
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted
FAULT: The drink is too weak
ACTION: Have more alcohol until your voice improves

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song
FAULT: Drink is just right
ACTION: Play air guitar

SYMPTOM: Drink is crystal clear
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up
ACTION: Punch him

SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear
FAULT: You have been in a fight
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark
FAULT: Bar has closed
ACTION: Confirm address with bartender

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone. Don't recognize the room you're in
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party
ACTION: See if they have free alcohol

SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures
FAULT: Alcohol consumption has exceeded personal limitations
ACTION: Cover mouth

Talk show guests for tomorrow, Thursday July 29th
Conan O'Brien: Brad Pitt, Janet Jackson (R)
Craig Kilborn: Anthony Mackie, Lloyd and Ashanti
Daily Show: Ted Koppel
David Letterman: Natalie Portman, Ambulance LTD
Ellen DeGeneres: Kelsey Grammer, Will Ferrell, Trista Rehn & Ryan Sutter (R)
Jay Leno: Michael Moore, Noah McCullough, Ebert and Roeper, Alanis Morissette
Jimmy Kimmel: Beau Bridges, John Cho, Kal Penn
Last Call: Paul Rudd, Kelly Slater, Uncle Kracker (R)
Regis and Kelly: Denzel Washington, Chris Meloni
Sharon Osbourne: Women in prison talk about abuse and domestic violence
The View: Al Franken, George Eads, Animal Fair magazine's Wendy Diamond