Just as I was heading home, some dickweed stockbroker from New York called my number at work and tried to force some lame-ass stocks down my throat. This was totally out of the blue. An unsolicited invasion of my privacy. It kind of reminded me of that movie with Giovanni Ribisi. The one where they scammed people out of their money with phony stock offerings.

I didn't know the fucker, but I played along, just so I could get his name and number. Then I called Security and filed a report, so they can hunt him down and kill him. That's why I was late today.

Here are the answers to last week's music trivia. Name the artist and song title for the following lyrics:

1. Nirvana - "Lithium"
I'm so happy 'cause today I found my friends
they're in my head
I'm so ugly
that's okay 'cause so are you
we've broken our mirrors
sunday morning is everyday for all I care
and I'm not scared
light my candles in a daze
cause I found God

2. Liz Phair - "Flower"
everytime I see your face
I think of things unpure, unchaste
I want to fuck you like a dog
I'll take you home and make you like it
everything you ever wanted
everything you ever thought of
is everything I'll do to you
I'll fuck you and your minions, too

3. Stone Temple Pilots - "Creep"
forward yesterday
makes me wanna stay
what they said was real
makes me wanna steal
livin' under house
guess I'm livin', I'm a mouse
all I gots is time
got no meaning, just a rhyme

4. Frank Black - "Headache"
this wrinkle in time
I can't give it no credit
I thought about my space
and I really got me down
got me so down
I got me a headache
my heart is crammed in my cranium
and it still knows how to pound

5. 311 - "All Mixed Up"
you've got to trust your instinct
and let go of regret
you've got to bet on yourself now star
cause that's your best bet
watch me now with a wicked and wild and I said
we come with the funky style
that gets us known for the show
and we'll mix the hiphop reggae if we say it is so


Yay! Andrea is back with the movie trivia. There are no prizes or anything, but if you guess the correct movies from the following quotes, you might feel good about yourself:

1. (1980) "How much for the little girl? The women. How much for the women?"

2. (1993) "Did he just say funky butt loving?"

3. (1996) "Raving psycho! Butchered 400 chickens and screwed a beagle. I'm taking him back to Nevada where he's wanted for banging horses."

4. (1996) "Why didn't you just go home! Are you too good for your home? Answer me!"

5. (2001) "You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?"

Talk show guests for tomorrow, Wednesday August 4th
Conan O'Brien: Jamie Foxx, Louis CK
Craig Kilborn: Alessandra Ambrosio, Jimmy Pardo
Daily Show: Aaron Eckhart
David Letterman: Tom Cruise, Dax Sheppard
Ellen DeGeneres: Jennifer Garner, Jamie Kennedy (R)
Jay Leno: Quentin Tarantino, golfer Andre Tolme, the Notorious Cherry Bombs
Jimmy Kimmel: Andy Dick, Andy Roddick, Bow Wow Wow (R)
Last Call: John McEnroe, Dave Attell, Fat Joe and Terror Squad
Regis and Kelly: Brittany Murphy, Jimmie Johnson, Kelly Clarkson
Sharon Osbourne: George Lopez, Anna Nicole Smith, Rosa Blasi, L.A. DJ Stryker (R)
The View: Meryl Streep, Ty Pennington, Thalia