"Where was the weirdest place you've ever had sex?"

Jessie joined us for lunch and the conversation eventually turned to sex. She told us this tale about a weekend trip that she and her family took to their summer cabin. She got a head start with her boyfriend and they arrived at the cabin a couple of hours before the rest of her family. She took her boyfriend up to the loft and had sex. There was still time left after they were through, so they decided to turn up the excitement a little. Her family's cabin has a beam running across the ceiling. They thought it would be a neat idea to screw in midair while their wrists were handcuffed across the beam. Yeah, you guessed it. They accidentally dropped the keys to the handcuffs. They were stuck there in their nakedness and her parents were on their way. Luckily, her sister made it into the cabin a few minutes before the rest of the family and she was able to rescue them in time.

That was pretty weird, but not as weird as where I've had sex. I stayed out of the conversation as everyone divulged their secrets, but inside I really wanted to tell them about my beach adventure. It wasn't actually at the beach. It was on the way home from the beach. It was the very first relationship I ever had with a guy. I had just graduated high school and moved out to live with Charlotte. I got a job at Jack in the Box and there were a lot of cute guys there. I never received any attention from boys when I was in high school, but the boys here were all over me. It was overwhelming. I fell for Nick. He was devastatingly handsome and 21 years old. All the other guys looked up to him. I kept him at bay for quite a while, because I was still a virgin, but as soon as I lost my virginity we were screwing everywhere and sideways.

The weirdest place I had sex was in the bed of a pickup truck, on the way home from the beach, while in heavy weekend traffic. Nick and I had occupied the cab of the pickup on the way to the beach, but we had to switch places on the way back. So there we were, hunched up to the back of the cab, making out like two long lost lovers. It got hot and heavy pretty fast and Nick whispered that we could spread out the tarp that we were sitting on and sneak in under to have sex. The better part of my judgment was swayed by the heat of the moment and I cheerfully said, "Okay!"

It was the worst sex I ever had. It was painfully hot and bumpy and the bed of the truck was covered with sand. My body was all scratched up and I kept worrying that the tarp would blow away and expose us. Yeah, that was the weirdest place I've ever had sex.

Andrea is busy on a project, so there's no new trivia this week. Here are the answers to last week's movie trivia:

1. (1995) "I saw something nasty in the woodshed!"
Ada Doom played by Sheila Burrell in Cold Comfort Farm

2. (1999) "But after my nap I always watch the Kangaroo Song."
Julian McGrath played by Cole and Dylan Sprouse in Big Daddy

3. (2001) "You told everyone to take out their Samurai swords and shave your butt."
Inspector Lee played by Jackie Chan in Rush Hour 2

4. (2001) "The young ones make great pets. Just make sure you kill them before they mature. Believe me, the last thing you want is a human teenager running around your house."
Limbo played by Paul Giamatti in Planet of the Apes

5. (2003) "When it rains, it's like there's a rooftop on the world. Each raindrop makes a sound the first time it falls on a surface. Just then, it's like...it's like I can see again. And...and I just want to...I just want to see you."
Daredevil/Matt Murdoch played by Ben Affleck in Daredevil

Talk show guests for tomorrow, Wednesday September 1st
Conan O'Brien: John C. Reilly, Ja Rule, David Feherty
Craig Kilborn: Jeff Bridges, Steve Van Zandt, Avril Lavigne (R)
Daily Show: Dan Bartlett
David Letterman: Sen. John McCain, Tom Russell
Ellen DeGeneres: Bill Cosby, Sarah Chalke, Hanson (R)
Jay Leno: Lance Armstrong, Paul Teutul Sr. and Paul Teutul Jr., Usher
Jimmy Kimmel: Carmen Electra, Charlie Murphy, Houston (R)
Last Call: Janeane Garofalo, Dov Davidoff, Breaking Benjamins
Regis and Kelly: Best Junior Achiever; Best Dressed.
Sharon Osbourne: Michael Madsen, Samantha Mathis, Julie Benz (R)
The View: Sen. John McCain