Last night I was attacked by a vampire and my skull was almost crushed.

We rented Blade last night and halfway through the movie, Helen decides to sneak up behind me and chomp down on my neck. The room was dark and our attention had been focused on the movie. She scared the heck out of me and almost gave me a freaking heart attack. Once I realized it was her, I stopped beating her away, but that only made her relax and intensify her suction. She wouldn't let go. She kept sucking and biting down. The demonic miscreant! She finally let go after a couple of hard tugs of her hair.

Now I have this dark red hickey, the size of a golf ball, glowing on the side of my neck. You know what I should have done? I should have bitten her back. I should have ripped off her top and bit down on her boobs. That would have taught her.

After the movie, when I was driving Annie home, I thought I recognized someone I used to know. He was standing against the chain link fence next door to the Jack in the Box. On the way back from Annie's, I decided to take a closer look. It was Stan the Artist. He was still wearing the same stuff he used to wear when we'd meet at the cafe. My homeless friends, Amber and S5T, had hooked us up, because I told them about the castle painting. They said he was a good artist and I should talk to him abouting the painting.

So that's what I did. Stan showed me some of his paintings and I was very impressed. Some of them looked so lifelike that it was hard to tell if they were paintings or photographs. That's exactly the look that I wanted. He said the painting would cost a hundred dollars, but he would need thirty dollars up front for supplies. I was hesitant because back then a hundred dollars was a lot of money to blow on a painting and I wasn't sure if he knew what I wanted. So I asked him to draw it for me and he ended up sketching it exactly as I had envisioned it. I gave him the $30 and I waited for him to complete the painting, but he never did. He got evicted and I lost touch with him. That was over eight years ago.

So when I saw him last night, I stopped. He was sitting against the fence and he looked up when I called his name, but I don't think he recognized me. He was dirty and greasy and he smelled awful. His face looked gaunt and pale like he was anorexic or on drugs. I felt sorry for him. I used to buy him coffee and donuts at the cafe and since Jack in the Box was just next door, I went through the drive thru and bought him twenty dollars worth of artery clogging grub. Hey, when you're hungry, food is food. Or at least that's what I thought. I went up to him and tried to hand him the bags, but he wouldn't take them. He looked so out of it. I put the bags down beside him and that's when he grabbed my arm. It startled me. I pulled away and ended up stumbling backwards into the path of an oncoming car.

I came this close to dying. The car stopped about a foot away from my head. I looked and saw that my face was right in line with the oncoming tire. It freaked me out. After the lady helped me up, I ran to my car and cried. There were dozens of questions that I had wanted to ask Stan, but none of them mattered anymore. I just wanted to get home.

I checked for Stan this morning and then again this afternoon, but he had moved on. Seeing him reminded me of Eva. I wonder where she is and if she's safe. I still feel bad about not helping her. She was the perfect candidate. She was young and there was still hope for her and even though she had been physically and sexually corrupted, she was living a relatively clean life. She hadn't delved into drugs. She could still be saved. I could have supported her for four years or until she graduated high school. She said she had been an A student in grammar school. She could have gotten scholarships and grants to pay for college. Everything happened too fast that day. I wish I had another chance.

Talk show guests for tomorrow, Friday September 3rd
Conan O'Brien: Jeremy Piven, Bruce Hornsby
Craig Kilborn: Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Mark McGrath, the Alarm (R)
Daily Show: Coverage of the Republican National Convention
David Letterman: Jane Pauley, Greg Giraldo
Ellen DeGeneres: Jennifer Aniston, Macy Gray (R)
Jay Leno: Bernie Mac, Paul Hamm, Mitch Fatel
Jimmy Kimmel: Quentin Tarantino, Lenny Kravitz (R)
Last Call: Carla Gugino, Aaron Taylor, Jim Gaffigan, Gomez
Regis and Kelly: Best Host Chat; Best Guest Co-Host; Best Reality Guest; Most Touching Moment; Best Show.
Sharon Osbourne: Ali Landry, Jeff Corwin, Sonya Fitzpatrick, "Animal Precinct"'s Annemarie Lucas and Joann Sandano (R)
The View: Joey Green, Bruce Hornsby